There is courage beyond the fear, hope beyond the hurt and joy beyond the pain – just don’t give up!

I have a confession to make. When God started to deal with me about writing this article I was reluctant and not prompt to do it. Why? I believe when we share our own places of pain we make ourselves vulnerable, and it’s not necessarily comfortable; however, I also believe with great conviction that the Holy Spirit helps us to glean purpose from pain, and the treasure we can unearth from our own adversity is often the ability to help others walk through what we have overcome ourselves. 

If you are reading this from a place of brokenness over a pregnancy that ended too early, over a little one that went to heaven before you had the chance to meet; I want to offer you hope, encouragement and peace. I want to glorify God’s goodness and His ability to heal, restore and bring us into victory in the midst of every circumstance. 

After two textbook, healthy pregnancies I expected the same the next time I saw those two blue lines indicating that a new life was growing inside of me. My husband and I were both excited and looking forward to another blessing. When I began to show signs of a miscarriage, we came together and agreed in faith that this baby would live and not die. Quite honestly, I was not afraid! I had every reason to believe that everything would be fine, and no reason to fear. When I miscarried, I was shocked to say the least.

I didn’t have the answer to the question, “Why?” This is where a lot of people get stuck. You might be there now, and if you are, let me help you. When something in your life doesn’t go the way that you thought it would, DO NOT expend all of your energy trying to understand why it happened; instead, focus your heart and mind on trusting God even when you don’t understand, even when you don’t have the answer to the question, “Why?” You must choose to move forward, and be very intentional about transitioning from a place of grief to a place of peace.

As we moved forward, we soon found out that we had quickly conceived again! This was an exciting and rapid recovery from what we had just gone through! We almost had to laugh at how quickly God had turned our sorrow into joy. About 5 weeks into the pregnancy I found myself in excruciating pain that landed me in the ER. I soon found out that I was bleeding internally. I was rushed into emergency surgery so quickly there was hardly time to think. The pregnancy was ectopic, and was removed during surgery to save my life.

I spoke just a moment ago about being intentional in transitioning from a place of grief & mourning to a place of joy and peace. As soon as I got home from the hospital I began to journal, to listen to God’s word, and to meditate on what I was thankful for. I watched a teaching series, Victory Over Death, which helped me tremendously, but I want to share with you a pivotal moment that took place in my living room.

The Battlefield of the Mind

I had thoughts come to me like a flood: sad thoughts, fearful thoughts, angry thoughts – all aimed at unraveling my faith and trust in the only One who could heal me, restore me and give me the victory in this situation. I stood to my feet and began to declare God’s goodness, His faithfulness, His power, His love and His ability to give me the grace to trust when I didn’t and couldn’t understand.

YOU, if you are in that place where wrong thoughts are beginning to eat away at the foundation of your faith and trust, STAND right now and declare that you will choose to trust in God’s grace to empower you to overcome! 

Here’s the deal, when we go through the “hard stuff” in life, we have an opportunity to choose faith or fear, hope or hopelessness, bitterness or thankfulness, resilience or self-pity. We choose to cling to our pain or let go and be free. Some people want their pain more than they want their freedom. Don’t be that person. Choose faith. Choose hope. Choose to be thankful for every good thing in your life, and choose to trust God when you don’t have all of the answers.

When you are intentional about the victory, there is great reward! Three months after these back to back trials, we were pregnant with our beautiful daughter. In about 10 weeks we will hold her in our arms and see her face to face. The period of pain I experienced will be a distant memory and will not even compare to the joy that will flood my heart when I look into her eyes! Her lovely name, Grace, is one that God gave us three years ago. How fitting that she will be a constant reminder of God’s grace and His faithfulness!

I don’t for a moment belittle the reality of the pain that comes with miscarriage, but I DO magnify the reality that God is bigger than that pain. Don’t blame Him, believe in Him to heal and restore. Don’t doubt Him, trust Him to bring you to victory. Don’t remain stuck in sorrow or paralyzed by fear – choose to hope again for God’s best. He will never disappoint!

I love you and I believe in you! I pray that sharing this testimony is a blessing to you and that you will find strength to move forward as a result!

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